


Slipping through my fingers

by samthesasquatch



Category: Supernatural
Genre: AU, Angst, Bullying, Cheating, Death, Depression, Destiel - Freeform, Drug Use, Drunk Sex, F/M, Falling In Love, Funny, High School AU, Humor, M/M, Minor Character Death, Multi, Murder, Muteness, Sabriel - Freeform, Sex, Swearing, Underage Sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-08-01
Updated: 2014-05-30
Packaged: 2017-12-22 02:30:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 11
Words: 14,125
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/907815
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/samthesasquatch/pseuds/samthesasquatch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam's in High school and has just turned 17. Suffering from the loss of someone close to him that he blames himself for, he starts to deteriorate in to a spiral of depression and anger. This is a story of how Sam hits Rock Bottom and with the help of friends old and new, he learns how to get back on to his feet and that maybe, just maybe, it's possible to fall in love twice.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I would've stayed up with you all night

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much to everyone who's commented and liked my story already. It means a lot to me, you're all more fabulous than Sam's hair.
> 
> Comments + Kudos = Love. It really motivates me to continue with updating my chapters as soon as possible, so if you can, please do! xx

**_10 days ago_ **

“Promise?” Jess said, batting her eyelashes at him as she protruded her lower lip in to a cute pout.

Sam grinned and leaned in, resting his forehead against hers. “I’ll be there at nine, I promise. When am I ever late anyway?”

He pulled away ever so slightly, his lips brushing against her cheek for a moment before they found her lips. He pressed his soft lips against hers, smiling in to the kiss as he tasted the sweet flavour of her strawberry lip gloss.

As their lips parted, she looked up at him with her soft blue eyes, a small strand of her blonde locks slipping out from behind her ear. “There’s a first time for everything, Winchester and you know how that part of town creeps me out.” She replied as Sam brushed her hair out of her eyes.

“I’ll be there, trust me. I don’t s’pose you’ll tell me what the surprise is now, will you?”

“Nu-uh.” She said, shaking her head. “It’ll ruin it otherwise.”

Sam rolled his eyes but couldn’t help but smile at her. God, he loved her so much. He had no idea what he’d do without her. It was strange to think that they’d only been together for two years, it felt like an eternity and he’d give anything to be with her an eternity more.

Just then,  the Impala pulled up behind them. Sam sighed and turned around slightly, giving his brother a small wave in acknowledgement before turning to face Jess again.

“Okay, nine it is. I’ll see you then.”

Jess stood up on her tiptoes and planted another small kiss on his lips, her arms wrapping around his neck before she let go and smiled up at him.

“See you.” She replied, giving him a wave, making sure to give Dean one as well as she walked up the path leading to her house.

Sam watched her leave, a big smile plastered on his face.

Jess’ hand hovered over the door handle before she turned around and gave Sam a wink before she disappeared inside.

As the door clicked shut, Sam spun on his heel and yanked open the passenger side door before slouching down in the warm leather seat. “Hey.”

“Hey yourself.” Dean replied as he ruffled his kid brother’s hair.

“Quit it!” Sam growled, swatting his brother’s hand away.

“How was Jess?” he asked as he began to drive back home.

“Good. She wants me to meet her later though.”

“How come?”.

“I dunno, she said it was a surprise.”

“Very mysterious.”

“Yeah.”

“You’ll have to walk on over there though, Sammy ‘cause I’m havin’ a drink with Gabriel and Jo at 8:30 so baby's stuck with me.”

“It’s _Sam._ S’cool, s’not that far away anyway.”

Dean grinned at his younger brother, turning the volume up. Sam gave Dean one of his infamous bitchfaces as _You aint seen nothing yet_ by _Bachman Turner Overdrive_ blared through the speakers.

When they arrived, Sam clambered out of the car then knocked on the front door. He waited for a few minutes before Ellen _finally_ opened the door. “Look’s like someone’s in a good mood.” She commented, noticing his big smile.

Sam walked inside, Dean following on behind. The youngest Winchester dumped his rucksack by the door and glanced over at Ellen. “I’ve just had a really good day.” He said simply, hearing the loud footsteps of his brother trudging up to his bedroom.

“It ain’t over yet, son. You might wanna go hav’a look at what yer brother got ya.” He heard Bobby call out from the living room where he was reading a Japanese encyclopaedia. It was only six months ago that the two brothers had found out that Bobby was fluent in Japanese, Latin and Greek among others. It surprised Sam how little he apparently knew about his adoptive father. 

“Dean got me somethin’?”

“’Course he did ya idjit.”

“He didn’t say.” Sam answered, furrowing his brow. He left the room and trudged upstairs. He paused before knocking on his brother’s bedroom door. When he did, Dean flung it open.

His older brother flopped himself down on to the edge of the bed and beckoned Sam over. He obeyed and watched as Dean grabbed a gift wrapped in newspaper as a substitute. He passed it over to Sam, a small smile playing on his lips. “Happy 17th birthday, Sammy.”

Sam looked down at it, stunned. Dean had never bought him something this big. Wow, just wow. He sat himself down beside his brother and carefully unwrapped the present. He'd always had a habit of saving wrapping paper, even if it was makeshift like this one, whereas Dean would rip the paper shreds, the remains tossed all over the room. As soon as Sam's eyes lay on what was inside, he gasped and stared at it wide eyed.

“You didn’t…this isn’t…” he said, his voice trailing off.

 “Go on, say it, I’m an awesome brother.”

Sam ignored him and replied softly “Thanks, Dean. Seriously, thank you.”

He couldn’t believe it. Dean had actually bought him a _laptop_. He’d been wanting one since forever. Sam put down the box and embraced his brother, pulling him in to a tight hug. Dean was stunned to say the least.

“Dude, no chick flick moments.” He said, refusing to admit that he was pleased with Sam’s reaction. Dean couldn’t help but grin at his baby brother. He hadn’t seen a smile that big on Sammy since, well, since before his parents died. At that thought though, his smile faltered for a moment.

Sam checked his watch and noticed that there was one hour left until he had to leave. “I’ve gotta go get ready.”

“Sure, I’ll charge it for when you get back, dude.”. It wouldn’t take too long to set it up for him and then once he’d done that, he and Jo could go meet Gabriel at the bar. “By the way, tell Jo that if she comes in to my room again, she can kiss her phone goodbye.”

Sam laughed lightly and shook his head as he left his brother’s room. On the way to the bathroom, he spotted Jo playing with their dog, Bones. “You shouldn’t go in to Dean’s room y’know, he’s actually gonna carry out his threats if you keep on doin’ it.”

“You can tell princess that if he stops comin’ in to _my_ room to use _my_ TV, then I’ll stop goin’ in to his.”

Sam rolled his eyes. He often felt like _he_ was the eldest out of the three, not the youngest. Those two always acted like a bunch of two year olds on their _good_ days.

“Whatever, I’m havin’ a shower.” He replied dismissively.

After he’d taken his lukewarm shower and his hair smelt of the watermelon shampoo that Jess loved but his brother teased him so much about, he pulled on the new shirt Jo had given for his birthday and a pair of jeans. The top was purple with a greyhound on it. It was a weird top and Dean had already teased him about it, though he wasn't sure if it was to piss him off or Jo, however he thought it was pretty cool and would continue wearing it anyway.

When he left the bathroom, Dean and Jo had already left to go and meet Gabriel. He raked a hand through his towel dried hair and grabbed his jacket before saying bye to Ellen and Bobby. He left the house and cursed under his breath as a single rain drop hit the tip of his nose. Great, it was starting to rain and he still had a couple of blocks left.

When he started walking to the where they were going to meet up, he checked his watch which read five to nine. He’d have to walk fast if he was going to get there on time like he’d promised.

As he turned around the corner, he heard someone shout “Hey, kid. Little help here?”

Sam narrowed his eyes and scanned the area for the source of the noise. His gaze soon settled on a guy who was huddled in the shadows, his hands tied behind him with coarse rope. Little did he know that the guy was being held there while the man who’d tied him up in the first place was calling the cops.

“Oh my god…what happened?” he asked, taking a few tentative steps closer, eyeing his split lip and black eye.

“Some guy mugged me. You’ve gotta untie me, man.”

“Uhh…okay, okay.” He replied nervously as he knelt down beside him and started to untie him with trembling hands. When he was released, the guy patted him on the shoulder. “Thanks, kid.” He replied, before running off down the street.

Sam frowned, wondering why the guy had decided to run. The mugger wasn’t here anymore, so why the rush? He shrugged and checked his watch again which read two minutes past nine. “Shit…” he sprinted to where he was supposed to meet Jess and when he arrived at ten past nine, his breath caught in his throat.

The man from earlier was pinning Jess up against a wall, a sickly smile plastered on his grimy face. “Thanks, love.” he said as he snatched her phone and purse. He gave her a quick peck on the lips before digging in to his pocket, taking out a sharp blade that glistened under the lamplight.

“Jess!” Sam yelled but it was no use, he was too far away. He wasn't going to make it. There was no way...he was just too goddamn far away.

Jess’ eyes were red rimmed with tears as she turned her head in time to see Sam running towards her but Sam’s name was caught in her throat as the knife plunged in to her chest, emitting a strangled scream from the young girl. When Sam reached her, the man had already run in to the distance, taking her belongings as long as Sam's happiness with him.

Jess flopped forward, just in time for Sam to catch her in his arms. He dropped down to his knees and cradled her in his arms. “J-Jess? It’s not that bad, right? You’re okay, you’re okay. You're gonna be fine.” He muttered but he wasn’t sure whether he was trying to comfort her or himself.

“Sam.” She breathed, her eyes locking on to his like an anchor, holding on to her last moments of life.

“It’s fine, it’s not even that deep.” He said, choking back a sob as his hands fumbled for his phone. He dialled 911 and told them as much as he could before hanging up.

“Please be okay, please. It's not supposed to be like this.”

“S’m. I’m…sorry.”

“S-sorry? Why? This was my fault, all of it. I…I…shouldn’t…I…Oh god.” he said, not being able to finish his sentence as he burst in to tears.

“S’okay, baby. Shh…s’okay. I want…I want…” she breathed as a small fat tear rolled down her cheek.

“W-what? The ambulance is gonna be here any minute, okay? You’ll be fine. Please be fine.” He replied, sniffling as he wiped his nose with his sleeve. He didn't know what to do. Why was he so helpless? And what the hell was taking the ambulance so long?

“S’m listen. I--It's not...oh god, that hurts...I just...Promise…promise me you won’t blame yoursel--.”

“I…” he began but before he could finish, a sigh escaped his girlfriend's lips, her body going lax in his embrace as she stared up at him, her eyes unseeing.

“J-Jess? JESS! NO! No, no, no. Please, come back. Don’t do this, please. Jess? Oh god, Jess? Somebody, help... I need...”

Her body slipped out of his hands as he saw the blood that had soaked through her shirt, covering his hands. His stomach heaved as he threw up by the side of the street. All he could see was the blood. It was everywhere, in her hair, in his new shirt, on his hands...wherever he looked, there it was. His vision started to lose focus as he watched the stream of the dark red liquid wash away from the pelting rain.  Soon, all he could see was black and it was a relief to not be able to see the red anymore as he slipped in to unconsciousness, slumping over her body.


	2. I'll be your friend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have to admit that writing the previous chapter and Jessica's letter made me cry. I'm such a baby, I know but Sam feels guys, they destroy me. Anyway, here's the next chapter. Enjoy! That wasn't sadistic at all.

Sam stared up at the ceiling, feeling nothing. He’d woken up just after 2am from another nightmare and hadn’t bothered going back to sleep. There was no point.

5 hours later, the alarm went off, repeating that annoying beeping noise he loathed, he sat up and glanced down at his bedside table where he kept the small blue box that Jess had been holding, clutched in her hand just before she died.

He’d read the neatly folded letter that was inside the box every morning since the incident and would probably carry on doing so.

_Dear Sam,_

_Wow, it’s been two years already, huh? Time flies when you’re having fun, I suppose. You know, I'm not even sure where I'm going with this, you know how much I suck at writing letters. I guess, all I wanted to say was, I love you Sam Winchester. I know it now.  It’s just a shame it took me so long to realise. I hope to God you feel the same way because I don’t think I’ve ever felt this way about anyone before. I can understand if you don't feel the same way but I just wanted to let you know._

_I'm not sure when I started loving you, Sam but I can tell you this, ever since the day we met, you haven't changed one bit. You're still the kindest, sweetest guy I know. Hey, that reminds me. Do you remember that time when it was my first day in kindergarten and no one would play with me because my mom had chicken pox but you came right up to me with your adorable little lisp and said, and I quote “I’ll play with you. I’m not th'cared of chicken'th or poxe'th, just clown'th. I'm don't think you can't catch clown'th. I asked Dean one time, he th'aid I was just being th'tupid, I think it's just 'cause he doesn't know either.” Just thinking about it now makes me laugh. At the time though, it wasn’t that funny when we both caught it at the same time. Your dad forced you and Dean to stay at my house for the whole week, even though Dean wasn’t sick because he said it was better for him to get it out of the way. Dean was such a baby about it but even though you were sick, you said it was worth it because you got to have the biggest ever sleepover with me._

_Anyway, back to the point, happy birthday, baby. I hope it’s a good one. I think you’ll like what’s inside the box as well, if not, we can change it, but as soon as I saw it, I knew it was for you._

_Love from,_

_Jess xxx_

Sam folded the letter up again and placed it carefully back in to the little box. Then, he took out the gift that was buried inside. It was wrapped in a  pale blue tissue paper. He didn’t dare tear it but as he unwrapped it again, he swallowed hard. It was a simple silver ring with name inscribed on the inside.

Jess had been wearing one the day she...passed away but it had his name etched on it instead.

Her funeral was a couple of days ago and she’d been buried along with the ring. He was half tempted to bury the letter with her. Part of him wanted to scrunch it up, rip it to shreds and never have to read it again but whenever he got close to doing so, he’d become a coward and not go through with it. He didn’t want to get rid of the last thing she'd ever given him, not to mention he was scared he’d forget about it if he did.

Sam let out a shaky breath and slipped the ring on to his fourth finger of his right hand.

Just then, he heard someone knocking on the door.

Sam didn’t answer but Dean walked in anyway.

“Sammy, you don’t have to do this y’know. The teachers said you can stay at home for a couple more days if you’re not feelin’ up to it.”

No answer.

Dean sighed and dragged his hand across his face tiredly. “You’re gonna have to speak to me at some point, Sam.”

Nothing.

“Or at least Bobby ‘n Ellen. They’re worried about you, Sammy. We all are.”

Sam averted his gaze and started absentmindedly fiddling with his ring.

Dean chewed his lower lip and gave up, leaving Sam in the room alone.  

When he left, Sam picked up his rucksack and instead of wearing his plaid shirt, he put on his grey t-shirt and black hoody, so he could hide his face at school.

He trudged downstairs, ignoring everyone in the house as he made his way to school.

When he arrived, he stopped outside the gate and suddenly felt a wave of nausea wash over him. To say he was nervous would've been an understatement. Maybe he should've listened to Dean after all.

 He wiped his sweaty hands on his old jeans and ploughed through the crowd of kids. He was staring at the floor the whole time but he could still feel everyone’s eyes on him.

Sam soon reached his locker and inhaled sharply as he saw the pictures of him and Jess taped to the inside. He ripped them off and stuffed them in to the back of his locker where he wouldn’t be able to see them again and grabbed his maths text book.

Jess used to be rubbish with algebra and she’d always come over after school on a thursday so that he could help her with the work. Sam slammed his locker door shut and rested his head against the cool metal, trying to forget the memories that kept resurfacing.

“A-Are you alright?” he heard a small voice beside him ask.

It took Sam a few moments but he soon regained his composure and turned to face a bright eyed boy with pristine clothing and a pair of crooked glasses settling on the bridge of his nose.

He’d never spoken to him before but he knew he was Castiel, Gabriel's brother. Gabe would often come over to hang out with Dean.

Sam shrugged.

“You’ve got maths next, right?”

Sam was grateful that he wasn’t bringing up the incident like everyone else.

He gave a small nod.

“Same. It’s almost lesson time though, so we should probably start walking towards the classroom.”

He shrugged again as he walked beside him.

“It is your first day back, correct?”

No answer. He didn’t think there would be. Castiel couldn’t help but feel sorry for Sam. He’d heard rumours that he hadn’t spoken since the…incident. Now he’d seen for himself that the rumours were true.

When they reached the classroom, Cas walked in first and took his usual place beside the window at the back.

Sam shut the door behind him and stood there, feeling out of place. He would usually sit beside Jess on the middle row but someone else was sitting there now.

He didn’t want to sit in Jessica’s place which just left three more empty seats.

He went to go sit beside Jess’ friend, Brady but he just shook his head and covered the seat with his books. “Beat it, psycho.”

Sam looked at him, a mixture of confusion and surprise crossing his features. It wasn’t like they were best friends before Jess’ death but often when Sam went over to Jess’ house, Brady would be there as well and they used to get along pretty well.

He gave Brady one last hurt look, then turned to face the rest of the class who were staring at him expectantly, wondering which seat he’d try to sit in next.

His gaze soon settled on Cas who was reading _'The Great Gatsby'_ beside the window. Surely, he wouldn’t mind if he sat next to him, right? He seemed like a nice guy.

Sam took his chances and dumped his bag on the desk beside him. He sat down, slouching in the plastic seat.  

He sighed with relief when Cas didn’t make any effort to get rid of him.

Castiel gave him a curious glance and offered him a small smile but he wasn’t sure whether Sam had seen it or not. He looked around the class and wondered why half of them seemed to be giving Sam glares.

At that moment, he felt someone tap him on his left shoulder. Cas turned around, surprised that Lisa was even acknowledging him.

She smiled sweetly at him, flicking her long brown hair out of her eyes as she passed him a note.

Castiel took it and opened it up slowly.

_Why’re you sitting next to him? You still have time to move before class starts._

He frowned down at the crumpled paper and wrote back in scrawled handwriting.

_Why not? I’m fine, thank you._

He passed it back to her, giving her a questioning look.

She rolled her eyes and wrote down on the paper again in purple ink.

_Haven’t you heard the rumours? Apparently, he was found next to her body, with no one else in sight. Everyone’s saying that he was the one who murdered Jess. I wouldn’t sit next to him if I were you, he’s a freak._

Lisa passed the note back and sat up straighter as the teacher walked in to the classroom.

Cas read it and glimpsed at Sam who was fidgeting with a silver ring, turning it around and around in his hand like a broken record.

He scrunched up the paper and shoved it in to his pocket. Cas wouldn’t listen to some callous made-up high school rumour. He wasn’t a sheep like everyone else and he was sure Sam didn’t deserve this kind of treatment.

Cas looked at the youngest Winchester sadly before turning his attention back to the teacher. 


	3. Through the looking glass

After class, Sam stuffed his books in to his rucksack and made a beeline for his locker. Everyone was acting strange around him and it was making him feel uneasy. No one would even talk to him…well, apart from Cas, which was weird because he’d never spoken to the guy before today.

Sam was about to open his locker when someone yanked his shoulder and spun him around. He was now face to face with Gordon Walker. Great. Just fucking great.

If he’d said that Gordon hated him that would’ve been a massive understatement. Ever since he’d started going out with Jess, the nasty remarks had only gotten worse.

Gordon grabbed hold of his hoody and pushed him up against the locker roughly.

Sam may have been taller than this asshole but he:

 a. didn’t want to get in to a fight, and

 b. wasn’t strong enough anyway

“I’ve heard rumours, Sammy.” He growled.

Sam tilted his head as far away as he could, trying to avoid the flying spittle.

At being given the silent treatment, it only made Gordon even angrier. Usually the youngest Winchester would at least take the bait and say he was called Sam not Sammy.

“They’re sayin’ you killed Jess. S’that true, bitch? Huh? Answer me, Winchester.”

Sam stood there limply, staring at the floor, trying not to cry. He wouldn’t cry. He’d promised himself he wouldn’t do that at school. Gordon was right, it was all his fault. If only he’d been faster or simply just ignored the guy who was tied up, she’d still be alive.

 Jess could’ve been a nurse like she’d always wanted. She could’ve had kids, _heck_ , grandkids even but because of him, she would never get the chance.

“No reply? I’m warnin’ you, if you don’t answer me, I’ll just have to assume you _did_ murder her just like your fucking mother.”

Silence.

“Fuck you.” Gordon spat as he sent a right hook punch in to Sam’s jaw. The force sent Sam sprawling and before he could pick himself up off the floor, he was yanked by his hood and punched again, this time harder.

Sam stood there limply, waiting for the next punch. He didn’t want to run or fight. He deserved it. He deserved it all.

Gordon threw his fist in to Sam’s stomach, causing him to double over in pain. He coughed, fresh tears pricking his hazel eyes.

When he looked up again, Gordon was gone. The corridor was now empty; the crowd had dispersed, leaving Sam on his own. The next lesson had started.

He trudged in to the bathroom that was just down the corridor and sighed with relief when he found that it was empty.

Sam leaned against the sink and stared in to the mirror at his sickening reflection. Oh, fuck, he was getting a black eye. Dean would kill him.

He sniffed and gently patted cool water on to his face at an attempt to wash away the dark blood. Just looking at the red substance made him think of Jessica all over again and…Oh god, please don’t be sick, please don’t be sick, he thought to himself.

Sam took a deep breath and the sadness was now being replaced by an infuriating anger at himself, at Gordon, at life. Why couldn’t he have died instead? Why did it have to be Jess? This wasn’t supposed to happen. None of this was, they were supposed to buy an apartment together. They’d been thinking about it for months. Then, maybe even get married and have kids. Just, not _this._ Anything but this.

He couldn’t stand to look at himself, so in a fit of blind fury, he punched the mirror, shattering the glass. Seven years of bad luck could kiss his ass.

When he’d calmed down enough, he noticed the throbbing pain in his fist. Sam glanced down and was almost sick again when he saw how much blood there was. He shoved his hand under the cold tap and watched as the cool water washed it away, swirling down the drain.

He then slid off his ring and placed it on the edge of the sink before gently picking out the pieces of glass that had been lodged in to his skin. Just as he’d finished, he heard someone approaching the bathroom door, so he quickly hid himself inside one of the stalls.

If he was caught, he’d get expelled for sure or at least suspended.

He breathed through his nose quietly, trying not to make a noise as he spotted the bottom of someone’s shoes as they stepped towards the sink.

Cas’ eyebrows shot up to his hairline when he saw the damage done to the mirror and spotted the remainders of someone’s blood in the sink. He stood there in silence for a moment and heard sniffling coming from the locked stall.

Castiel’s gaze soon settled on the blood covered silver ring and he sighed _._ It looked just like one Sam had been wearing earlier that day. _Oh, Sam what have you done?_ he thought to himself.

He wasn’t sure whether he should just leave and ignore what he’d just seen or try to help Sam, that is if Sam would let him. Castiel chewed his lower lip thoughtfully. Gabriel would be so much better at this than him.

“Sam, I know you’re in there.”

Silence, just like he’d expected.

“I’ve got bandages at home. You can’t leave your hand like that and if the teachers see what you’ve done, they’ll suspend you for sure. I haven’t got any more lessons today. I could take you now, if you want.”

Sam stood behind the door, muted. Part of him wanted to stay inside the stall, behind the locked door so he wouldn’t have to face anyone ever again but he knew how stupid that was. He’d eventually have to leave and Cas had literally just offered to help him out. He’d be an idiot to refuse, right?

Sam slowly unlocked the door and stepped outside, not meeting Castiel’s judging gaze.

Cas inhaled sharply at the sight of Sam’s hand but didn’t mention it. “You forgot your ring.” He said simply as he reached out to take it but Sam had already snatched it before he’d finished his sentence. He wondered why it was so important to him.

“Come on, you’ve met my brother Gabriel, haven’t you? He’ll be there too.”


	4. Sam Winchester and the Holy Grail

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas brings Sam over to his house to get patched up by his older brother Gabriel and it turns out he's a Monty Python fan, just like Sam.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just this once I'm going to be taking any ideas that you guys would like to put forward for the next chapter/or for later on in the story. So, if you guys have anything you want to specifically happen in this story, now's the time to say it. Every idea is welcome and who knows, maybe I'll use it! Thanks again for reading, I hope you're enjoying it.

“Castiel, how’s my favourite baby broth—“

Gabriel’s gaze drifted from Cas to the kid who’s face was mostly concealed by his dark hoody. He then caught a glimpse of the kid’s hand. He was cradling it close to his chest and it was covered in gashes. He inhaled sharply at the sight.

“Oh hey. Who’s this?” Gabriel asked curiously.

 “I’m also your least favourite, seeing as I’m your only younger brother Gabriel… and I’m fine. This is Sam Winchester.” Cas answered bluntly. “I believe you’ve met before.”

Gabriel sighed and shook his head. Castiel was hopeless sometimes. At the mention of Sam though, he cocked his head to the side and frowned.

Sam? That couldn’t be Sam could it? The kid had dark circles under his eyes and not just from the black eye. His hair was dishevelled and falling in to his eyes which was probably as an attempt to hide is face. “Sam? Uhh, yeah we’ve met a couple o’ times. Damn…I didn’t recognize you...well, before you come on in, answer me this. What exactly is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?” He joked, flashing Sam a grin. Hopefully his attempt at quoting Monty Python would help lighten the mood but all he received was a deadly glare from Castiel.

At that, Sam looked up at Gabriel, the corner of his mouth twitching in to a smile. “What do you mean, African or European?” he joked back, though his voice was slightly hoarse from not speaking for ten days.

Castiel stared at him stunned as Gabriel let out a small laugh. He held up his hand, saying “High five for comedy classics.” However, he soon remembered the state of Sam’s hand and said “Oh…uhh, no, on second thought, better not.”

Sam nodded and went back to staying quiet again.

“What happened, anyway?” he asked when they both walked inside.

 “Sam cut his hand.”

“Well, _duh_. What I meant was, _how_ did it happen?” he asked, the sound of his voice fading as he walked in to the bathroom to find the first aid kit.

“I…I do not know.”

Sam gave him a grateful look and flopped himself down on the couch, taking off his hoody. He was exhausted and everything hurt. He hadn’t had a good night’s sleep since before Jessica’s death and it was starting to show.

“Sam?” Gabriel asked, hoping he’d give a couple of hints as to what happened.

No answer.

He was about to call him again when Castiel shook his head at him.

Gabriel shrugged and brought in the first aid kit. He sat himself down beside Sam while Castiel went to his bedroom, no doubt to do his homework.

They were so different; a lot of people used to mistake them for friends, not brothers. Gabriel often felt like he was the black sheep of the family because Cas took so much after his older siblings Michael and Anna.

Anna however, was the only one who found Gabriel even remotely amusing, so they got on pretty well. Not that he didn’t with Cas, but they were just so dissimilar. Cas could never take a joke just like Michael, and Gabriel was cracking them all the time.

His two brothers wouldn’t know what a joke was if it came and bit them in the ass.

“Let’s have a look.” Gabriel said, taking Sam’s hand in his own. He cringed when he saw the damage but didn’t say anything as he took out some wipes and started cleaning the dried blood from the cuts. “If I didn’t know better I’d say you punched a mirror.”

Sam gave him a pained look.

“Been there, done that, don’t worry ‘bout it kiddo…and unless you headbutted the mirror as well, somethin’ else must’ve happened but I won’t ask.” He said, noticing the black eye and wincing.

Sam raised his eyebrow. Gabriel had done the same before? Maybe he was just lying to make him feel better.

“S’pretty nasty bruise and gash on your face that you’ve got there, too.”

Sam shrugged, a small smile playing on his lips. “S’just a flesh wound.”

Gabriel chuckled and patted him on the back. “Exactly. Just a flesh wound.”

He wrapped a cream white bandage around Sam’s hand and when he finished, he took the first aid kit back to where he found it. He stopped to look at himself in the mirror and sighed.

He hated the fact that he had a crush on Dean’s little brother. He knew the kid would never feel the same way about him and anyway he was like four years older, so even if Sam was gay, which he wasn’t, then why the hell would he want to go out with _him_?

It was then that he decided he’d try to help Sam instead. He’d heard all about what had happened to Jessica and the kid looked like shit to say the least. He needed help and he wanted to be the one to give it. He could become his friend, right? That was the next best thing.

When he walked back out of the bathroom, he looked down at the couch and smirked. Sam was sprawled asleep on the couch, one arm and leg was hanging limply off the edge and his other leg was lying propped up on the arm rest because he was too tall to fit properly.

Gabriel checked the time and decided he better call Dean to tell him where Sam was. He doubted the youngest Winchester had told anyone he was coming here. He dialled Dean’s number and waited for him to pick up.

“Gabriel, hey. What’s up?”

“Nothin’ much but I’ve got a Winchester passed out on my couch.”

“Sammy?”

“That’ll be the one.”

“The hell? What’s he doin’ over there? Is he okay?”

“Uhh…”

“Gabriel.”

“Well, I think he might’ve gotten in to a fight. I’m not sure. Cas brought him here to get patched up.”

“Shit…I’m sorry…thanks, man.”

“No need to apologize, it’s cool.”

“I’ll come and pick him up now. Just give me a couple of minutes and I’ll be there.”

“Hey, don’t worry ‘bout it, he can stay over if it’s easier.”

“Really? Ya sure?”

“Hells yeah, I’ll move him to the spare room, it’s fine.”

“Thanks, dude. I owe you one. By the way, if Sammy’s ignoring you, don’t sweat it, he hasn’t spoken since…yeah, y’know.”

“Yeah, about that, I’d heard the same but he actually spoke a couple of words to me today.”

“Wait…what? Seriously? What did he say?”

“I just made a Monty Python reference and he caught up on it, believe it or not.”

“Huh. Well, I’ll be damned. I think you’re the only one who’s managed to get him to talk. Thanks again.”

“No problem, Dean-o. See you around.”

“Yeah, see you.”

Gabriel hung up and put the phone down, a big grin plastered on his face. He’d managed to do something right for once. Sam had talked to him when he wouldn’t talk to anyone else, so he must be doing something right.

He then decided to take a nap because it sounded like a good idea, so he collapsed on to the other couch, just out of arms reach of Sam. His golden hues lay on Sam’s sleeping form for a brief moment before he drifted in to a deep sleep too.

 

**_3 hours later – 6:30pm_ **

Castiel shook his brother’s shoulder, trying to rouse him from his sleep. “That was only one time. It was New Year’s Eve.” Gabriel babbled in his sleep. Cas shook him again.

“Wha—?” he asked, blinking his eyes open.

“Where’s Sam?”

“He’s right ther-” Gabriel replied, his voice trailing off as he spotted the empty space where Sam had been. “Are you kiddin’ me?”

He picked himself up off the couch and yawned. Dean was going to kill him. He dialled Sam’s number and waited. Okay, he’d never asked for Sam’s number exactly but he’d seen it on Dean’s phone when he’d borrowed it one time, so he’d decided to copy it down…just in case.

Sam didn’t pick up.

Dammit, dammit, dammit. Gabriel grabbed his jacket and yanked the door open, groaning when he saw it was pouring outside. The icy rain pellets soaked him instantly. He quickly pulled his jacket on and shivered. “Sam?!” he called out in to the empty street.

 

 


	5. The Pizzaman

Sam sat huddled in the bus stop shelter, shivering. He watched as the harsh raindrops filled the overflowing puddle in front of him. A greasy coin lay in the middle of it but he didn’t bother to pick it up. He didn’t believe in superstitions and even if he did, he didn’t ~~want~~ need any luck.

The only thing he wanted was Jess back, or at least for her to take his place and he doubted a coin could give him any of the above.

“Sam?” he could hear someone calling distantly.

He groaned, but didn’t bother running away, they’d find him eventually. Why didn’t they understand he _wanted_ to be alone?

Earlier he’d woken up from his usual nightmare, drenched in his own sweat and knew that if he stayed there on the comfy couch, he’d drift off to sleep again only to wake up again a few minutes later.

The icy rain was a relief for him because it kept him alert, making him forget how worn-out he felt.

“Sam?” he heard again, louder this time and he could make out the sound of footsteps approaching.

Sam picked at the thread of his jeans absentmindedly, waiting for the person to arrive.

“Sam.” The person repeated his name again but this time it wasn’t said as a question. He recognized the sound of the voice now that he was near. Gabriel.

Gabriel sat on the wet bench, beside Sam. His long hair was plastered to his face from the rain, so he raked a hand through it, finding it annoying how it clinged to his skin.

“You gonna speak to me?”

Sam grunted in response.

“I’m gonna have to change those bandages again, the rains soaked straight through ‘em. What were you even doin’ all the way out here, kiddo?”

“I needed the space.”

Gabriel nodded.

“You’ve gotta be hungry.”

Sam shrugged. He hadn’t thought about it. To be honest, he hadn’t eaten much these past few days.

“If you come back, we can order a pizza or somethin’. Between you and me, I think Cas has a thing for the pizzaman.”

A small smile played on Sam lips as he turned to face Gabriel. “Okay…what, seriously?”

“Yeah, that’s why I like teasin’ the pizzaman so much. Cas’ reaction is priceless.”

“Teasin’ him? Like how?”

“Oh, like offering him pizza when he arrives or pretending I don’t speak English. I even answered the door naked once, mind you, I was completely wasted.”

Sam raised his eyebrows, then laughed lightly. “You didn’t.”

“Oh, I did.”

“You’re crazy.”

“Definitely. If I wasn’t, where would the fun be in that?”

Sam had to admit he had a point.

“Okay, so pizza it is.” Gabriel replied with a small smile. He picked himself up off the bench and grinned when he spotted a coin in the middle of the puddle. “Ha!” he said, leaning forward to pick it up.

He dipped his hand in to the murky water and snatched it. Gabriel tossed it in to the air before catching it again and stuffing it in to his pocket.

“You believe in that kind of stuff?”

“Not really but it doesn’t hurt, does it?”

“I s’pose not.”

**_1 hour later – 8:30pm_ **

The doorbell rang and Castiel internally groaned. Gabriel was going to do something stupid. He knew it. Everytime it was the same. He switched on the TV and pretended he was watching so Gabriel wouldn’t drag him in to the conversation.

Sam was beside him but he’d turned around so he was kneeling on the couch, facing Gabriel who had just answered the door.

Castiel was surprised how well they were both getting on and even more surprised that Gabriel had managed to get Sam to talk. He’d always thought the two were complete opposites but maybe they were actually more similar than he’d originally believed?

Gabriel held a wad of monopoly money in his right hand when he opened the door. “Hey, thanks.” He said, taking the box out of the pizza guy’s hand. He now knew his name off by heart, it was Andy.

Andy looked at the other expectantly, waiting for what was going to happen next. There was always _something_ that was going to happen next. “That’ll be 15 dollars.” He said slowly, not sure why nothing had happened yet.

“Sure thing.” He replied, handing over the fake cash, flashing the other an amused grin.

Andy was so focussed on watching the other for some sort of prank, that he didn’t notice what was wrong with the money he’d just been handed. He narrowed his eyes and stuffed the cash in to his pocket and started walking away without a word.

Gabriel kept the door open as he leant against the doorframe, waiting for Andy to come back. “Any second now.” He said, watching the other from a distance.

“What  the—? Hey! This isn’t real money!” he heard someone shouting all the way down the street.

When the pizza guy stormed back in and shoved the monopoly money back in to Gabriel’s hand, Gabriel apologized and smiled sweetly, exchanging it for another wad of monopoly money.

Andy glared at him and turned on his heel but stopped midway on the steps when he saw that it was still the wrong money.

Gabriel could hear snickering behind him but kept his expression as calm and innocent as possible. “Oh, my mistake. Here you go, that should be it.” He replied, finally giving Andy the actual money.

When he’d left for real this time, Gabriel shut the door behind him and put on a bad and overly exaggerated Italian accent. “Molto bene. This pizza should be to your satisfaction, your lordship.” He mocked, bowing to Sam as he opened it to reveal Margherita Pizza.

Sam rolled his eyes, giving Gabriel one of his infamous bitchfaces as he took a slice and started munching in to it straight away. It shocked him at how fast he’d finished the slice because he didn’t think he was that hungry. Sam thought for a moment before taking another.

Castiel took one as well but just nibbled at it while Gabriel took two slices and started eating them both at the same time. “This pizza is Heaven.” He exclaimed, his voice muffled from his mouth being too full which earned him a disapproving look from Cas but a small smile and nod from Sam.


	6. The Sound of Silence

_**Next day [7:30 am]** _

Sam sat at the desk in his room after being dropped off by Gabriel. Classes today didn't start until 8:30, so he asked if he could be taken back home to change in to some cleaner clothes and grab his text books. Now that he was home, he was staring miserably at the unopened package of his laptop. He wasn't being ungrateful or pissing Dean off on purpose...heck no. He just couldn't bring himself to open it up yet, not after everything that had happened. He'd do it though, he promised himself that much. 

The youngest Winchester had his head resting on his arms, his eyelids half closed as he heard someone rapping on the door. The words 'come in' got stuck in his throat, his body not allowing him to speak aloud so he just waited in silence for the person to either walk in or walk away, honestly, he didn't care which.

After a few moments of silence and the occasional creaking of the floorboards, Dean finally pushed open the door and stepped inside, closing it behind him. "...Sammy?" 

Sam turned around, his tired eyes fixating on his brother.

"Gabriel told me about what happened. Hey, don't roll your eyes at me, man. This is serious and I just... I wanna help you...if you'll let me. Now look, fair enough if you don't wanna talk to me or anyone else okay, that's fine with me. I don't wanna push you in to things you don't wanna do...but Gabe told me you said some stuff to him earlier and I just...you know you can trust me right? Sammy?"

He rubbed the back of his neck absent-mindedly and gave a small nod, looking down at the rug.

"If this no talking thing is selective because I did somethin' to hurt you dude, y'know I'd never mean it right? I want what's best for you."

Silence.

"Right, now I've got all that chick flick crap out of my system, how 'bout I take ya t'a school now, huh? Or...you could stay at hom-- okay, okay, don't gimme that look, I was just askin'." 

Sam grabbed his rucksack and slung it over his shoulder to prove his point before walking past Dean and heading in to the kitchen. Jo, who was sitting at the table, buttering a piece of toast, gave him a tired and forced smile as he grabbed himself an apple out of the fruit bowl. He then proceeded to follow Dean to the Impala without saying a word.

_**School - Lunch break ******_

Sam had been avoiding Cas all day. After yesterday, he felt too vulnerable around him and he decided that some fresh air out on the playing field would do him good so he picked a spot in the shade under a rather pathetic looking tree and buried his head in a textbook. After what felt like just a few blissful minutes, he heard a girl calling for him. His forehead creased slightly in confusion as he turned around to face the source of the noise.

The next couple of trees over, he spotted the school burnouts. The girl who'd been shouting for him was slender and curvy with waves of dark brown hair cascading around her shoulders, framing her pretty face. She had full lips and warm, inviting eyes. As for her outfit, she wore nothing special, just what appeared to be a hand-me-down leather jacket, worn jeans and a loose top. The others ignored the scene all together. There was a cheeky blonde kissing a guy with greased back hair who was smoking weed and paid no interest to her whatsoever. Opposite them lay a blonde haired dude who was clearly high and honestly, gave off a really creepy vibe. 

Sam just wasn't in the mood to pick a fight right now, so he pretended he didn't hear her and tried to continue with his reading again. When he did however, she shouted back "Hey, gigantor! I'm talkin' to you!" 

The guy being kissed snickered at her remark.

Sam clenched his teeth together angrily and slammed his book before trudging over to the group, a look of annoyance spread across his features.

"Finally. What's 'a matter? Cat got your tongue?"" the blonde chick drawled.

The brunette folded her arms across her chest and rolled her eyes. "He's the mute one I was tellin' y'all 'bout." She turned back around to face Sam and said "Look, we don't do this often, 'kay? But we're one member short and we think we could use a guy like you." 

Sam raised an eyebrow questioningly. Oh god, what was he getting himself in to? Was this some kind of trick or joke?

"Look, we heard 'bout what happened to that girly of yours and we're sorry 'bout that, really we are... we just think that if you help us out then maybe we could do a few favours in return. You scratch our back, we scratch yours." 

Sam licked his lips nervously. If he said no, he'd have another group of pissed off individuals out to get him but if he said yes, he would at least be spending his breaks with company. He let out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding and shrugged, before giving them a nod in agreement. 

"Awesome. Welcome to the team, Sammy. Guess ya need introductions or whatever right? The name's Ruby, the guy stoned out of his mind is Lucifer, he's pretty much the guy who keeps this group together believe it or not. Just remember not t'get on his bad side when he ain't as high as a kite. That bitch over there's Lilith." she said, smirking as Lillith held up her middle finger. "And he's Crowley." Ruby added, pointing to the guy smoking who was waggling his eyebrows at him. 

"Hello, moose." he said, the corners of his lips curling in to a smile. "Take a seat, I won't bite...much." he chuckled. Sam decidedly chose to sit down as far away from him as possible, relieved that Ruby decided to sit in between them both. She seemed to be the sanest one here and that was saying something. "Smoke?" Ruby asked, handing him a joint. He was about to shake his head but before he could she added "You're not gonna be a big baby and say no are ya? Ya said ya wanted to join us, right? So take it."

Sam swallowed hard and took it with trembling fingers. Oh god, Dean was going to kill him, what the hell was he doing here? Why didn't he just leave when he had the chance? 

On his first try, he coughed until tears sprung to his eyes but eventually he got the hang of it and god damn...why hadn't he started doing this earlier? He felt fucking amazing and so incredibly relaxed. He couldn't even remember why he was so upset in the first place. Crowley and Ruby were now in a heated discussion about...well, to be honest, he wasn't even sure but he was finding it funny and the fact that he was finding it funny just made him laugh even more. 

Shit, he was so screwed.


	7. Cry me out

**_1 week later, after school_ **

"Want a lift, short bus?" Ruby said, tossing a glance to Sam over her shoulder as she hopped on to her sleek black motorbike. The youngest Winchester raised his eyebrows slightly. He was still pretty out of it from the joint he'd taken earlier that day meaning he could barely hold on to a thought for a few seconds. However, the fact that his inhibitions had been lowered meant that he found talking aloud easier and that he was generally happier, or so he thought. 

"Huh?" he replied intelligently. 

Ruby rolled her eyes and put on her helmet, leaving the straps undone. "Ya comin' or not?" 

"I was gonna get picked up by a friend."

"And here I am." 

"I _meant_ someone else."

"Just a 'friend' huh? _Sure_. You naughty boy." 

"It's not like that!"

"Prove it then 'n hop on."

Rolling his eyes, he did as he was told, grabbing the bright pink helmet with _'Princess'_ inscribed on the side, that she offered him. "Funny." he grumbled, putting on the helmet before tightening the strap. 

"The pink really brings out your eyes, Winchester." she smirked as she revved the bike, then subsequently sped down the street. The young girl lived for adrenaline rushes. It didn't help that she had authority issues and liked to see how far she could go before getting caught by some damn narks. Ruby teased the speed limit, smirking as she felt Sam tighten his embrace, feeling his shaggy hair tickle her exposed neck through the cool breeze. 

"Stull street, yeah?" she asked, making a sharp left turn before he could reply. 

"Yeah."

The streets and locals passed by in a blur, too fast for Sam to make out any significant details. However, he trusted Ruby enough to take him to the right place. She seemed nice enough. That is, if he managed to ignore her light hearted insults and 'witty' remarks. Although, the last thing he wanted to do though was to get too close to her. The only reason he was hanging out with her anyway was so that Dean wouldn't have to fret about him being lonely or whatever it was he was worried about. Honestly, his brother was just too damn over protective. He wasn't a baby anymore. He couldn't do anything without Dean giving him a lecture about it later.

Hanging out with Ruby also gave Sam a sense of freedom and excitement...even going to the extent of allowing him to forget, if only for a while, Jessica's death. He still refused to talk about it to anyone though and if they brought it up, he'd retreat back in to the comfort of his shell. Ever since he'd joined their gang he'd become more and more outgoing and found that his nightmares had becomes less and less frequent. He figured that it was as good a sign as any. Even if he did know there were consequences.

"Ta-da." Ruby announced, stopping just outside his house. 

Sam clambered off, wrinkling his nose slightly as he took the helmet off and passed it back over to her. "Thanks, I guess." 

As he began to walk towards the front door, he heard her call back to him. "Hey, don't I get somethin' in return?"

"What? But..."

"Relax, I'm not gonna rob ya. Come 'ere." 

Sam reluctantly stepped forward, eyeing her suspiciously. 

Before he could even react, the brunette yanked him down by his collar and pressed her soft, rosy lips against his, closing the space between them. For a moment, Sam kissed her back but as soon as he realised what he was doing, he pushed her off him and stared at her wide eyed. His heart started pounding painfully against his chest and his lungs felt like they'd been scrunched up and ripped like a piece of garbage. 

"Fuck you." he snarled, storming off back to the house. 

"Wouldn't you just _love_ that?" she added cheekily. "Ya kissed me back, Winchester! Ya can't fucking deny it! You know it, I know it...you can't hide it. You _want_ me! Ya hear?" 

Then, as if she was never there, she disappeared down the road without a trace. 

Sam attempted to ignore her words but they sliced through his thoughts like a hot knife through butter. It was as if he couldn't think of anything else. She was just lying though, right? But was there an element of truth in her tormenting words? _Did_ he want her? No, that was just sick. Jess _died_ less than a month ago, it had to be the drugs messing with his brain. Oh god, how could he have kissed her back? 

Sam punched the key in to the lock and turned it furiously, kicking the door open. He slammed it behind him and dumped his bag by the door, ignoring Dean and some other guy he didn't see who were watching god knows what on the TV. He then stormed in to his room, locking it behind him. He threw himself like a rag doll on to his bed, fully clothed and screamed in to his pillow and fisted his hands in to his hair angrily. _I'm sorry, Jess, I'm so sorry._

Why was his life so fucking difficult? 

As his scream turned in to muffled sobs, leaving tear stains on the cotton pillow case, he heard someone give two purposeful knocks on the door. 

"Go away, Dean! Look, I'm talkin' now, you happy?" he retorted.

"Guess again." 

Sam was shocked out of his crying and lifted his head slightly to face the closed door. "Gabriel?"

"The one and only."

The teenager sniffled pathetically and made a quick attempt to wipe away his tears. "What d'you want?"

He heard a sigh behind the thin wall. "To help you, kiddo."

"--What?

"You heard me."

"I don't need any help."

"Oh, Sam...does it make you feel better to say so?"

"No."

"Didn't think so."

"I'll rephrase it, then. I don't need _your_ help." 

"Sam..."

"I mean it, I've dragged enough people down with me. I'm just a fuck-up."

For a few moments there was only silence, Sam could only suspect that Gabriel agreed. Then after a few moments, he heard a small voice that sounded nothing like the loud, outgoing guy he knew. "Let me in, Sam."

Something about the way he said it gave off a feeling of complete authority, so the young Winchester did as he was told and let him in. Gabriel didn't say anything though. He just pulled him in to a tight, warm, much-needed hug. Sam was only slightly taller than the other which allowed him to rest his chin on his shoulder with ease, melting in to the embrace.

As they parted, Gabriel murmured, his voice comforting and calm, "Everybody makes mistakes, kiddo. It's called bein' human. None of this is your fault."

"You're wrong. It's all my fault. You...you don't know what I did."

"Hey now, don't say that."

"But it's true."

"Why d'ya say that?"

"I..."

"...Sam?"


	8. First time

“I… I can’t say.” 

“Well, when you’re ready lemme know kiddo. I’m always here if ya need to talk.”

Sam gave him a small, meek nod. 

Just then, Gabriel sniffed the air, his forehead creasing with concentration slightly before he said “I might be mistaken but that smells like…yup, Ellen’s apple pie, mmm. Now, I’m not one for missin’ out in once in a life time opportunities like this, so I think this is my cue to leave.” 

“Once in a lifetime?” The Winchester repeated, looking at the older guy questionably. 

“Is there an echo in here? Yeah, Samsquatch. How many times d’ya think I’m gonna get the chance to eat apple pie at 5:34pm on a Friday in May?”

Sam rolled his eyes and then watched as his friend left the room and slid down the banister with ease. Gabriel had always been suffering from a constant case of _’13 going on 30’_ and he doubted that he was ever going to change, it was just who he was. The scene brought a flicker of a smile to Sam’s lips but it soon faded fast. 

Flopping back down on to his bed, he grabbed his laptop and took a shaky breath. He needed to put everything behind him. He couldn’t let these horrible events ruin his life even more than they’d already done. He had to pull himself together. 

After setting it up, Sam checked his email. He had 47 new messages, not including spam. They were all messages related to Jess’ incident so he ignored them, apart from one. He double clicked it. It was from Lucifer. 

_Come over to mine at 9pm tomorrow night. This party’s going to be sick. Don’t tell your folks. I’m counting on you, Sammy._

Sam sighed and raked his hand through his unkempt hair. He didn’t really have a choice, did he? They were his friends. He chewed his lower lip nervously and shut his laptop, placing it on his bedside table. 

Now all he had to do was think of a lie.

**_Saturday, 9:05_ **

“Moose, you made it!” Crowley shouted from inside the house, though with the blaring, flashing disco lights he couldn’t make out his form. Next thing he knew, he was dragged inside by a slender hand. He looked over to see who it was but he didn’t recognise the girl. She had ringlets of dark hair that surrounded her heart shaped face and was dressed head to toe in purple and black. They soon stopped beside where the drinks were kept. “I’m Meg.” She yelled over the booming music.

Lucifer was lucky was his house was pretty much in the middle of nowhere so he didn't need to give two fucks about disturbing anyone. He only had one neighbour who was as deaf as a bat so it didn’t really bother him. 

“I’m Sam.” He replied but she nodded in response. 

“I know. Ruby’s told me all about you.” 

“…She has?”

“Mhmm.” She added, handing him a mysterious shot.

“Oh…just a beer thanks.”

“Chicken.” 

“No, I’m not.”

“Whatever you say.”

Sam glared at her and snatched the drink, taking the shot, slamming the glass on the table, his face contorted in disgust. “See.”

Meg grinned from ear to ear, her hand sliding in to his. “I see. Wanna dance, big boy?”

Before he could reply, she’d dragged him deeper in to the sweaty group of dancers and began dancing against him. 

Ruby stood in the far corner, shrouded by shadows. She watched as Meg thread her hands through Sam’s hair and swayed against him. He looked so adorably awkward but more relaxed than usual; she supposed it was because of the alcohol. 

Pushing past the grinding bodies, Ruby made her way over to them. She yanked the back of Sam’s collar and spun him around so he was facing her. 

“Heya, Sammy.” 

“Ruby?”

She placed her finger against his soft lips but before she could even begin dancing with him herself, Meg had pushed her off of him. “Hey, I was dancing with him, bitch.” 

“Well it’s my turn now so fuck off.”

“Excuse me?”

“Ya heard me.” 

Meg pushed Ruby again and was about to do it again but Ruby who’d previously had a lot to drink already, took a step forward and slapped her with such force Meg went sprawling to the ground. Meg gasped as a thin trickle of blood dripped out of her nose. “What the fuck did you do?” she screamed. “Fuckin’ psycho.” 

Just then, Sam stood in between them and yelled, his voice slightly slurred “Hey, break it up!” They hadn't stopped arguing though like he'd hoped. They just ignored him.

Lucifer then walked over and gave Sam a shove out of the way. “What the hell is going on here?”

“I…I…” Ruby stuttered, nervous under the leader’s gaze.

“She fucking hit me that’s what.” Meg interrupted, pressing a used tissue that she’d found on the floor against her nose to stop the blood flow. 

In response, Lucifer, without a word, grabbed Meg’s wrist and pulled her up. “Let’s be honest here, Meg. You probably deserved it.” He said, then added “Whatever you two were fighting about, drop it. I don’t know about you two but I’m here to fun and I don’t wanna be the one to clean up petty arguments all evening, got it? Meg, go get cleaned up.” He ordered, his voice dripping with authority. “And Winchester… keep Ruby company.”

When Lucifer and Meg had left, Ruby smirked at Sam. “Looks like we’re on our own now.” She said, biting her lower lip. “I’m gonna have another drink. What say you?”

Sam nodded. He definitely needed one. “I’m in.”

“Awesome.” She replied, leading him over to the beer keg.

They both had two beers each before Ruby broke the silence. “How ‘bout we ditch this party and go some place quiet?” 

“Huh?” He said, not certain about what she’d just asked. Everything was just so blurred and his mind felt fuzzy from the alcohol. He’d only ever had a couple of beers in his life and that was under the supervision of his brother.

Ruby raised her eyebrows slightly, the corner of her mouth twitching in to a seductive smile. “Follow me, Sammy.”

They walked upstairs and across the hallway in to a cosy bedroom that was dimly lit. “This is Michael’s room. Y’know, Lucifer’s older brother.” She whispered. “He won’t mind...much. Not that he’ll find out. He’s out of town at the moment.” 

Ruby brushed her hair out of her chocolate brown eyes and pushed Sam down on to the bed, straddling him. She roughly pressed her lips against his, her heart hammering against her chest. 

Sam made a muffled sound of shock before kissing her back hungrily. Her soft lips tasted of alcohol and cherry chapstick. She moaned and fisted her hand in to his hair, then traced her hand down his face and past his chest before ripping his shirt open, exposing his tanned skin. 

“Oh, Sam.” She murmured in to his ear. He shuddered at the way she said his name. “Undress me.” She ordered, her tone sultry and seductive. 

Sam obeyed, flipping her on to her back so he was towering over her, his lips inches from hers. She could feel his hot breath against her neck as his fingers fumbled over the edge of her top. Finally, he tugged it straight off. Sam swallowed hard as he scanned over her smooth, golden body, his eyes lingering over her red lace bra and the swell of her breasts. He knew this was wrong. He shouldn’t be doing this but he couldn’t control himself. 

As she sat up to plant another kiss on his lips, he unclasped her bra with his drunken clumsiness (it totally didn’t take him three attempts). She shook it off and threw it across the room, then shimmied out of her tight black skirt and thong. 

“Oh god.” Sam muttered under his breath, his voice hitching slightly. 

“Your turn, baby.” Ruby lulled as she undid his belt, letting it drop to the floor before yanking down his pants and underwear. 

Sam in his drunken stupor with no help from the dimly lit room, stepped on the buckle of his belt, sending a sharp pain up his foot. “Fuck!” he yelled, before he was silenced by Ruby who’d pressed her lips against his again. 

Ruby shuffled backwards and pulled down Sam with her. He’d now completely forgotten about the agony in his foot and had tilted his head slightly, closing his eyes as he swept his tongue over her smooth protruding lip. She responded immediately by brushing her own tongue against the inside of his teeth and nipping at his lower lip. 

Sam moaned against the kiss and quirked his eyebrows slightly as her kisses became more and more urgent. Ruby rolled him over on to his back and pinned him to the bed. “I’m gonna fuck you until you can’t remember your name.” she promised in a whisper. Under her, Sam twitched involuntarily at her words. 

“You got a rubber?” Ruby asked, raising an eyebrow in question. Sam shook his head. “No…I didn’t think…” 

“Fuck. Y’know what? I don’t care…it ain’t gonna stop me.”

“But…” 

“Sammy, it’s okay.” She said, her lips brushing against his jaw line. The ache and the need rose up inside him, making him whimper. 

“Are you hard?” Ruby asked, her eyes locking on to his.

Sam’s gaze flicked over to hers. He laughed lightly and nervously. His body screamed ‘virgin’ all over and if anything it made Ruby even hotter. She loved being in control. 

“Do ya wanna fuck me, Sammy?”

He made a sound that was almost definitely not a word. Ruby smiled, a sort of half smile as she sunk on to him with a low moan. Sam’s sweaty hands clenched the blanket that he was laying on and gasped. His hips kicked off the bed, his back arching as his cock was thrust inside her. “F-fuck.” he said, his breaths coming out ragged. 

Sam clamped his hands around her hips as she rocked against him but neither of them noticed that just then, Crowley had pushed open the door, two blonde haired twins hovering behind him. The girls yelped and covered their eyes whilst Crowley looked at their form with curiosity and amusement.

“Well, I’ll be damned.” He said.

“Oh god, shut the door!” one of the girls shrieked. 

Sam and Ruby paid them no attention as they continued to grind against each other. Crowley was soon dragged away by the two, the door shutting behind them. 

“Oh, fuck. Fuck me, Sam. Faster!” Ruby panted, crying out in pleasure as he did so. And then he lost it, spilling inside her uncontrollably like the horny seventeen year old he was. “Holy shit.” He gasped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are two ways this story could go. Ruby could either get pregnant or think she's pregnant, it's up to you guys to decide. So if you could comment with what you think, that'd be great, thanks!


	9. Walk of shame

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam walks the walk of shame.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> {Mini Chapter}
> 
> Thanks for all the reviews guys! More reviews and kudos, the happier I am and the faster I write! So thank you so much xx

Sam lay sprawled on his back, half covered by an unfamiliar warm duvet. It felt soft to the touch but he was used to the cheap rough blanket he had at home. Where the hell was he? He wrinkled his nose as the strong smell of alcohol and cigarette smoke reached him. Ugh, gross. He blinked open his eyes, allowing them to drift to his side where he saw Ruby, her face half buried in to a pillow and she was....oh god. Completely fucking naked. What the HELL. He gulped and lifted up the duvet to check if he was....oh fuck. Yup. Stark naked. He cursed under his breath and hugged the duvet close to his chest as he slowly and carefully sat up, trying not to wake up the girl beside him. He used the duvet as a sort of modesty shield in case she should wake up and went around the room picking up his clothes, trying to ignore the gnawing headache he had. He quickly shrugged on his attire from the night before and tiptoed out of the room and down the stairs. 

He could have sworn he didn't breathe the whole time as he carefully and precisely made his way around the passed out people on the floor. It was at that moment however that he heard a chuckle from the top of the stairs. Sam froze mid-step and didn't dare to move or take a single breath. Oh god, she'd woken up. What was he going to say? What was he going to do? Maybe he should just make a run for it.

"Looks like you had one hell of a night." Lucifer commented as he leaned against the banister. 

Sam sighed with relief when he heard his voice then turned around to face him. "Yeah...uhh thanks for hosting I guess. I'm gonna go now...my parents are gonna lose their shit if they find out I was gone all night." 

"It was nothing. It was only one night out...don't fret about it. Sounds like they're damn overprotective though."

"Tell me about it...anyway, yeah I'm gonna go now. See ya man."

"Alright...until next time." Lucifer smirked.

**_Back at home_ **

Sam hovered outside the door, just about to unlock the door when he heard Ellen talking on the phone. She sounded really close. Crap. He looked around and noticed that his window was the only one open. Yes, perfect! Sam scrambled up the tree near his room and used the closest branch as a monkey-bar to swing himself inside. What he hadn't expected though was what...or _who_ was inside. His older brother sat in the corner, shrouded by the shadows, on a chair, his arms folded. Sam was so screwed. 

"Look, I can explain..." 

"Oh, this is gonna be interesting."

"I was...well...it's..." 

"I'm listening." 

"Like I told you yesterday, I went to Gabriel's house to study with Cas."

"That doesn't explain why you were up all night."

"I lost track of time and Cas offered that I stayed over for the night."

"You lost track of time? That still doesn't explain the smell of alcohol and that...is that a hickey on your neck?!"

"Well...a what? I don't...OH...that..." Sam replied, laughing nervously. 

"You're such a liar!"

"No, I'm not! I can explain...the alcohol wasn't mine...it was Gabe's, he was drinking and it's not a hickey. It's a bruise actually."

"A bruise on your neck?"

"Y-Yes. I...I slipped."

"Wow. You slipped. Like I haven't heard of _that_ before."

"I can prove it! Ring them."

"You want me to ring Gabe and Cas and ask them about it?"

"Y-Yeah." Sam mumbled, his eyes flicking over to the phone anxiously. 

Dean stood up slowly, frowning at his brother. He couldn't be telling the truth. No way. He snatched up the phone and dialed. 

"No, wait -- " 

Dean raised his eyebrow, waiting. 

"Nothing." 

Dean rolled his eyes, then Cas answered in his familiar formal tone.

"Hello?" 

"Hey Cas."

"Oh, hello Dean. Did you want to speak to Gabriel?" 

Dean could hear Gabe calling from the background, saying "Why's Dean calling?"

"Was Sam over at your place yesterday?" 

"He is asking if Sam was over here yesterday...?" Castiel replied to Gabriel. "No, he--" his voice trailed off and a yelp could be heard.

"Yeah, yeah he was." Gabriel interrupted, implying that he had just snatched the phone off his little brother. 

"Oh...that doesn't really explain everything though."

"Like what?"

"He smells of alcohol and has a hickey...I mean, _bruise_ on his neck."

"Oh...that. Well, you see...he uhh...I gave him a can of beer...just a little bit. And the bruise was from tripping over Cas' textbooks. Damn things are lying all over the place."

"Really? Hmm. Fine, okay thanks man..that's all I wanted to ask."

"No problem-o. Sam's not in trouble is he? Oh and...dinner's still on for tomorrow, right?"

"Nah...Oh, yeah. yeah...see ya then."

"Ciao."

Dean hung up the phone and chucked it on to Sammy's bed. "You lied about the beer but... I guess you're off the hook this time."


	10. Pizza House

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Novak's and Winchester's have dinner at a Pizza Place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for the reviews and kudos! Honestly, it's the best feeling waking up to them. So, really, thank you, it's great motivation for me to write more.

**_Dinner (Pizza Place) 19:00 : Ellen, Bobby, Dean, Jo, Sam, Gabriel, Castiel_ **

Sam sat uncomfortably sandwiched in-between Gabriel and Jo. It didn't help that he was wearing a hoody in this boiling weather to hide the bruise on his neck. Dean and Cas who had been talking incessantly all evening sat opposite them whilst Bobby and Ellen sat at the heads of the table (they were also talking to each other). Jo was transfixed on her cellphone so that just left me and Gabriel. Sam watched curiously as he began to make a house out of pizza and toothpicks. 

"Aren't you gonna eat it?"

"Of course...after I finish this masterpiece..." he said, sticking his tongue out in concentration.

"You're such a kid." Sam teased but it was something that he admired in him. It was the fun he needed in his otherwise depressing life.

"I'll take that as a compliment, Samantha."

Sam rolled his eyes and took another bite out of his pizza. Mmm...it was damn delicious. At that moment though, his cellphone started buzzing. He quickly and quietly excused himself and made his way to the bathroom before answering. "Yeah?"

"Sam, it's me...Ruby."

"Oh...hey."

"Well, don't sound so pleased to hear from me."

"Sorry, I am...it's just...y'know..."

"Awkward? Nah, you're just makin' it that way, princess."

He sighed. "Why did you call?"

"Other than to hear your dulcet tones? We're all meeting up on Friday, if ya wanna come."

"Sure, I'll see what I can do. What is it? Another party?"

"It's a surprise."

"Sounds ominous...fine, okay."

"See you there, baby."

"See ya." Sam replied, hanging up the phone and shoving it in to his pocket.

"What sounds ominous?" a familiar voice said from outside the cubicle. 

Sam stepped outside and saw Gabriel washing his shirt in the sink. Why -- ? The youngest Winchester was suddenly transfixed by his friend's golden skin and smooth back. He quickly snapped out of it as Gabriel interrupted his thoughts, "Hellooo? What sounds ominous?" 

"You were listening in on my conversation?"

"Can't help it...natural curiosity."

"It was nothing. Just talkin' to a friend from school. Why are you washin' your shirt anyway?"

"I sneezed mid-pizza-house making and dropped the slice on my shirt."

"Genius."

"I like to think so."

"Isn't it going to be soaking?" 

"Yeah...but I didn't want it to stain."

"Fair enough." 

"Mind if I borrow your hoody?"

"I'm only wearing my white vest underneath..." Sam replied, but soon succumbed to Gabe's puppy eyes. Now he knew what Dean meant when he did the same thing. "Ugh. Fine...but I want it back." 

"I can't promise anything." Gabriel joked as Sam took off his hoody and handed it to him. "Nice hickey." Gabe added, not mentioning the fact that he'd noticed Sam was looking seriously ripped. Since when did he outgrow his skinny kid phase?

"Crap, I forgot about that...it's not a..."

"I _know_ the difference between a bruise and a hickey, kiddo. _That_ is a hickey." 

"Fine but I don't even remember getting it so..."

"That doesn't make it any better." Gabe laughed, folding his wet shirt. 

Sam covered the mark with his hand. 

"Yeah...you can't just walk around covering it the whole time. Look, no one really cares...even if they do, what does it matter what they think? It's kinda cool anyway."

Sam huffed but had to admit that it made sense. 

"--Am I interrupting something?" Dean asked, a look of pure amusement on his face as he walked in to the bathroom to find a half naked Gabriel and his younger brother in his white vest.

"What? No!" Sam replied with annoyance, his face flushing red as he stormed out of the bathroom back to his seat.

"Touchy." Dean said with a small laugh as Gabriel put on Sam's hoody.


	11. Leader of the pack

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam's initiation in to the pack.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the feedback! You guys are the best.

_**Friday - 21:00** _

"What are we doin' here?" Sam asked, tucking his hands in to his hoody's pockets. The group were huddled outside a liqour store, shivering from the bitter wind of the evening. That didn't seem to bother Lilith though who was still wearing her iconic white mini-dress. 

"I think the question you should be asking, is why are YOU here, moose." Crowley replied, inhaling the smoke from his cigarette.

"Huh?"

"Let's just say this is a little...initiation of sorts."

"What d'you mean?"

"Well, you walk in there, get some of the good stuff, then walk out again...simple. Then, you'll truly have what it takes to be part of our little..."

"Pack?" Lilith suggested, a small smile playing on her lips.

"Wouldn't a pack suggest you're a ... bitch?" Ruby giggled.

"Fuck off."

"Cool it ladies." Lucifer interrupted, his voice stern and vibrating with authority. "Sammy, you think you've got what it takes?"

"It's _Sam_." he growled back but his voice wavered slightly. He wasn't going to admit it but right now he was so nervous he felt like he was going to piss himself. He wanted to back out of this so badly, but he couldn't. He wouldn't be able to live it down. "Yeah...I guess. It can't be that hard right?"

"Right."

"Go get 'em tiger." Ruby purred, giving him a wink.

Sam took one last long look at the 'pack' and began to make his way slowly towards the liqour store. He stepped inside and inhaled sharply as he made eye contact with the lady behind the counter. Her harsh hazel eyes stared right back at him, eyeing him suspiciously. He gave her a weak smile and started browsing the store. Alcohol was just alcohol really, right? They probably wouldn't care what kind he bought. Sam made sure he was hidden in one of the aisles before grabbing a 6-pack of beer. He wasn't going to risk taking anything else.

Placing the cans on the counter, he offered the red-headeded woman who's nametag read 'Anna', a small nervous smile. "Just these." he said, avoiding eyecontact.

"I'll need to see some ID."

"I don't have any with me..."

"Then, I can't serve you these beers. Sorry."

"But..." 

"Sorry, no exceptions."

Shit, shit, shit. What was he supposed to do now? Did they expect him to STEAL them? Maybe they did...that sounded just like them to be honest. Oh God, but what if he got caught? Sam swallowed hard and rubbed the back of his sweaty neck nervously. He could make a run for it, Sam supposed. He was quite fast. "I'll just put these back for you." he replied, feeling his heart beat painfully against his chest.

"Thanks for the offer but it's not a problem, I can do it myself."

"No, it's fine." he said, taking a step backwards.

"Sir...put down the beer."

It was now or never. Sam grabbed the 6-pack and made a run for it. When he saw who was standing outside though, his mouth dropped open in shock. He hadn't expected Lucifer to be waiting there, holding the door shut, leaving him trapped in there.

"This wasn't part of the plan!" Ruby screamed from outside. "Let him go!"

"OPEN THE DOOR!" I yelled, kicking the door, the girl was already dialling for the police. "You fucking asshole!" 

Ruby yanked Lucifer backwards, sending him sprawling, leaving the door open for Sam which earned a chuckle from Lilith. He couldn't believe he'd thought these people were his friends. Sam chucked the beers on the floor and ran for it. He ran and ran and ran. That's all he could do. He felt the cool breeze against his sweaty skin as he sprinted around the corner.

He could've been running for 1 minute or 10, he didn't know but when he finally stopped in some random alleyway, he threw up all over the tarmac. Coughing, he sank down the floor, his back leaning against the rough brick wall. Sam wiped his mouth and choked back a sob. He was not going to cry. No damn way. God...he was so screwed. He wondered if the cops could find him here? At least he had his hood up, covering his face ... but hang on, did the CCTV catch a glimpse of him? Oh, shit. What were his parents going to say if he got caught? What would _Dean_ say? What if he had to go to _prison_? How long did kids his age stay in prison for stealing? He had no idea but he didn't want to find out. 

The smell of puke was starting to get to him, so he stood up, raking his hand through his hair as he pondered about what he was going to do next. He wondered if he could just go back home and pretend like nothing happened. Or maybe...he could go to Gabriel's? That would mean he could get his other hoody back too. Or he could just run away from this shit-hole of a place and get it over with. The third option sounded like the best idea...then again, also the worst....he couldn't just run away and leave everything... _everyone_ behind. Jess wouldn't have wanted it. He sighed, his eyes stinging (NOT because he was going to cry...because he wasn't).

It was at that moment, he heard the sound of shoes dragging across the tarmac. He spun around and saw that it was Lucifer. Sam's jaw tightened with anger, although he wondered where the others were, he'd never seen Lucifer alone. It put him on edge, the hairs on the back of his neck prickling. "What the fuck do you want?"

"You made me look like a fool there." Lucifer answered bitterly.

"You did that by yourself."

Lucifer grabbed him by the collar and pushed him up against the wall roughly. "Would you like to know what it's like to swallow your own blood, you little prick?"

Sam spat in his ugly, arrogant face. He didn't care that he was probably going to regret it. Sam flinched as Lucifer lifted up his fist. He knew what was coming now, a punch to the...OW SHIT, yup...that was it. Sam coughed from the pain and stumbled forward. He yelped as his long locks were pulled backwards and he was kneed in the stomach. Then, Sam thought of every fucked up thing and mistake that he'd made in his life and his anger grew until he felt like his whole body was on fire. He shoved Lucifer backwards and crouched over him, punching his face over and over again. After the third hit, Lucifer pulled him forward and smacked their heads together violently, knocking Sam out cold...

 


End file.
